Wednesday, May 27, 2009

~ 7 Month old Karson ~

We  still can not believe Karson is 7 mo old TODAY~ Every time I  look at him, and kaid I remember back to when they both were  so Tiny.. ( boo hoo) I think that I am wanting a little one again.. well that feeling will go away quickly. Karson is all boy!  I love his Rollie  legs, and how he rather have no clothes on. Some of his favorite things are... *  His Brother,eating time, Bath time, Daddy time esp. He absolutely does not like to have a messy for long, Pretty much right after he goes he wants to be changed! He has Two little Baby teeth in on the bottom, and cutting more. Life at the Shannon's is quite loud if you can imagine :) He has been skooting across the floor for about a few weeks, trying to get his legs up, we both think he's going to walk early.. I am hoping for not! Karson loves going over to grandma & grandpas' and taking walks in his stroller with me. We can not even imagine life with out him.. in the Second and third pic, I went up to kent's job site to say hi, and karson was so excited to play with all the Toy's, ( Tools )
Unfortunately he is not sleeping throughout the night.. He will go down at 7:30, and wake about 4 am. 
 
Lastly we could not had a better bigger brother ever! He's so loving, and makes sure he's OK when he cries. There are times though when he wants to play just a bit more rough.  I can not wait for karson to get a little older, and him being the one to engage with kaid, that will be so sweet to watch! 
We Love  our Smoochy Kissable  Karson!

PS.. Kris thank you so much for helping me figure this out.. with the pictures.. :)



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Sunday, May 24, 2009

~ Hello again, Sw Medical Hospital ~

I am finally able to catch up a little,  on my blog. I feel like I have been out of touch for a little bit.  This last Friday night we experienced something that no parents want to.  I was out picking up some groceries, when Kent called me and said, " Kaid Fell hurry home!"  as the blood quickly left my head I began to feel dizzy, like the world was slowly rotating around my little world.  As I parked our car, leaving all the food in the car, i booked it, running up the stairs. Opening the door,  I was greeted by Kaid.  With a puzzled look on my face, I asked where he was hurt?  Knowing a little about Shock, and how sometimes your body can play tricks on us, We called our doctor.  Backing up, we live on the second story Apartment, off the kitchen is a sliding glass door, with a large deck.  With the kitchen looking at the deck, I let kaid play out there all the time, I can see him, he never does anything to alarm us or anything.  So business was usual, Kent being in the kitchen looking at kaid playing with his new toy " Whistle" when all of a sudden, ( 3 sec) Kent called kaid's name, he heard him, however sounded little far away.  After looking in the living room, he ran out on the deck, and peared over.  Kaid was standing up, with his arm raised, ( with his toy whistle in his hands ) " Dada ook"  . We still do not know if he jumped, or fell from peering over, being it a 25 ft fall, we thought something might have been broken.  So leaving off, when we were talking with the Dr, they told us that we needed to call 911* just in case he has something broken, they can check him out.. Again, I felt dizzy, and sick to my stomach. As I waited for the ambulance to come outside, I believe I was saying a million prayers, Please let kaid be OK.  At this point, Kaid was starting to cry, pretty badly, we were not sure if this was because he could see me crying.  In his mind, he dropped his toy and he wanted it, he sure got it.  The sad thing is with kaid, he can not really feel pain like you or I can, so if he was hurt, he was not showing us like he was, he was just making sure we were ok,  Sweet litle boy.. As the paramedics came in, and began to to there assessment, kaid went right up to the firefighter, and sat on his lap.. the seen was so sweet, knowing that they were there to help him, he was perfectly calm.  When the paramedics came in with the Child's Stretcher, with the head restraints, That's when I lost it.  I did not want to take pictures, as... I felt really guilty, however this was a day we will never forget.  As they were assessing kaid, they realized that he need to go to the hospital, to have a CT scan, just to make sure he does not have internal bleeding.  Kaid only wanted Kent by his side, so he rode with him, and I was following the ambulance, Tears were constantly flowing down my face, pleading with heavenly father to protect kaid, and the doctors that were to help him. This post could be So long with our experience, From the minute kaid was in the hospital, little miracles were taking place.  From the Doctor's that assisted him, ( best in the state, ) that's what we were told from our nurse.  The doctor told us with a fall that large, there is normally, Not Always, but some type of injury.
After the long wait for the results for the Ct scan, MRI Scan, everything was 100% OK! nothing!   A  miracle.  
We experienced an amazing other special miracle earlier before we left.  A  testimony to me that I will NEVER forget   What I will share about that, was the simple relization just how close your gardian angels really are.   I know that all our kiddo's are bendable,  with " rubbery" bones... sort of speaking.. able to bounce right back.. Not that we needed this experience to realize just how easily things could have been so much worse. There was 2 inches leaway from having kaid land flat on the cement, and landed on the grass.  We noticed the next morning, that kaid  has a LARGE bruise from right ear all the way down his neck, and large bruise on 3 ribs.  Just a tough little kid too.  Kaid was admitted for the night observation, kaid wanted me to stay, and man were we in for a long ride, At about 4am he wound down, about 2:30 he kept pointing to his hand, ( the Iv hand) I told him that he needed to leave it in, as I was fading, all of a sudden he handed me the rubber Iv!!! What!! Next.. Is pretty Sick.. I never saw so much blood,   He just Ripped it out.. As he started to scream, I started to get worked up, and the nurses came in.. calm as could be.  Everything was of course fine,  pretty traumatic,  to see him in so much pain.




Thank you, everyone that sent well wishes, We love you all and appreciate all your love..

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                                                            Kaid being set on the stretcher in our living room.
                                               Being Rushed to the Ct Scan, not able to move his head, Neck..
                                 After ct, went back to room, Did not like his Iv, that they blocked so he would 
                                                 not pull out..little did they know..what he was going to do..
                                    That goodness for Elmo! He had an Elmo Dr. Doll.. he went " boom boom boom"
                                      when she checked his heart.. as that's the sound Elmo made.. too cute.
                                                     Only one person was able to be in the Ct Scan, Kaid had death
                                                                     grip on Kent, so.. I waited out in the hall.
                                                         Man.. what a trooper though, after the Iv was out.. 
                                                                         things were so much better..

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

~ Cutest kids Ever ~





My Awesome sister took these.. Kris I love how you just captured the right pic.  I have been trying to take random pic during the day.. and.. I just get so frustrated, I am yet to get one of karson and kaid looking at me smiling..

I saw this on another site, and just had to see what it would look like.. I just think My kids are the cutest.. Ok.. mom's all think there kids are the best!  


~ Update, Bigger Picture ~

so.. after, crying about the last post for what seams like days.. I got down and had a one on one talk with HF.   I just felt like I was not ready, I really wanted to be able to give him " my " nourishment.  Surprisingly tonight, as my little sweet pea woke up, he wanted to be BF, and all of a sudden my supply started coming in, just like it did in the beginning.  Tears, strolling down my face, Karson looking up to me with a big smile, ( I know he missed it as well)  I know all the water that I was drinking, to keep my supply up would not would not change the fact that...sometimes it's not our will, but his.  This was a true test in faith for me, Yeah.. it's a little silly, however I know that  my HF knows what's important to me as a mother, I am not too sure if this was just a one night treat, or if it's back to stay, nonetheless, I am SO grateful for this.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Really Trying not to be sad...


Many of you know that I under went back surgery about 2 weeks ago.  The whole five days I was in the hospital, I was really worried about my Milk supply, as I was Breast Feeding Karson.  I have been so happy this time around to experience what it was like to Breast Feed, I nursed kaid, but only for a short short time.  When I was in the hospital, I pumped, and made sure my supply was not going away.  As I came home, that was a different story.  Karson was now getting more use to the bottle, I still was not going to give up, I would feed him a lot more frequent, so he would go right back.  This went on for about a week, until my supply was gone.  I pumped and pumped, not to mention I was drinking about a gallon of water a day.  I found myself really really sad, This is not what I wanted, I was planing on BF, him up to a year.  I was kind of beating myself up about it, wondering why, and how unfair it was.  Then I  started thinking, How grateful I am that, I was able to Feed him for the more important stages, being a newborn, and going almost 7 months.   Karson, still wants to be comforted by me, and will want to still feed, It's not 100% gone, but sadly not enough for him to feel full.  I am hoping that this feeling will pass quickly, I am really Trying not to be AND feel sad.  I would just love for the next day to come, and wake up with everything back.  We have had formula in the Pantry, from the various Formula brands that were sent in the mail, Via New mom packet..  This was FOR SURE our Last last resort, and sadly we opened this last resort  2 days ago.  So As I just put karson down for his afternoon nap, I Routinely began to BF him, and he wanted it, 15min later, still not full.  Well.. I am sure that I am not the only mom out there that has felt this way.  I however, did not want to be a mom giving her child a bottle. Yes, people would not know just how much I want to feed him, and how I truly do not care really what people think.. I am just having one of those days..
Not to mention, we are in the hottest Apartment.  I am sitting here with sweat dripping of my forehead, it was 85Degrees yesterday, and I believe that heat stayed in the apartment.  I just need to relax, but as I was thinking about posting a new post, I was really needing to write about this, and get it all out.. Vent if you will.  And surprisingly I feel some how a little better..   Until I have to put that Stupid Formula in the Bottle and feed karson that way....I am greatful he's sooo happy, and is not upset about not being BF.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Theraputic Horse Farm

What an amazing experience I had today.. I attended kaid's field trip this am.  I was not too stoked about having it be early, However I was so excited to see kaid interact with his peer's and the horses.  This place we went to, specializes in children with special needs.  As I pulled up, ( I followed the bus) I must say I had tear's in my eyes.  My little boy, Well.. 6 year old now, was growing up,  I watched him get off the bus, go over to the other children, reach out to hold his little friends hand, and wait until all the other's got off the bus.  As I watched kaid, It was like he transformed.  I was mesmerized.  There was something about the animal's that calmed him down.  I was SO sure that kaid would not want anything to do with riding the horses, or having ANY thing to do with the sheep.  I say this because we just went to the fair, and he was terrified of the little pony's.  To my amazement, it was as though kaid knew these big friends.  There were about 15 students, all taking turns riding the horses.  Some having more challenging disabilities, I was just so humbled, watching these little angles' light up around the horses.  This was something that wanted to be around them, and would let them interact with them.  I could not stop holding back by tears' as the teacher's aid asked kaid " Kaid, it's your turn, would you like to ride the horse?" With the biggest smile he yelled " YES"  goosebumps going up and down my arms, I was just frozen. One with pure joy! that he wanted too. Second, I was a little scared, that he would jump off.  As he got fitted for his helmets, ( One after the other, he's head was the smallest)  One fit the best.  The gate opened, and kaid started to walk towards his horse, with a " Hatch " wave back to me, ( waving under his chin) he was walking up the steps to climb on the horse.  As he was positioning himself on the horse, he could not stop talking!  He was on cloud nine, I could tell.... As I kept snapping away with the camera, I am not too sure if all the pictures, came out, I could barley see, as I was crying so much.  Kaid was wond
ering why I was crying, When I signed I was Happy!  He gave me the thumbs UP!  I know you are probably wondering, Why I was crying, Well.. Being a mom of a little one with Down syndrome, I wanted the very best, still do. I want
 kaid to feel like he fit's in, as every mom does.  Today I really realized.  He does fit in. Kaid is Kaid, he totally
 understands EVERYTHING you say.. granted he might not like what you say, and follow you, but he understands.  I really  fell short with not giving him enough credit.  I really felt bad. Seeing kaid on the horse, and the excitement in his eyes, and the pure love he had for the horse... words can not tell you enough the way I was feeling.  As the instructor came to a stop with the horse, Kaid signed,  " More, and then said, " Please"  Ahhh..  With 5 other kids waiting for there turn, the instructor, told kaid, 2 more times, no problem.  I am Just so proud of kaid.  I was even more proud that I wanted to go with him, I was the only other mom that was there.  It' not easy day in and day out sometimes with callenging behavior, however today really showed me, that This Really does work... Therapy for children with needs, I am constantly loving all my moments being able to be at home with my boys, and to watch kaid grow, I just LOVE him SO much!!

Monday, May 11, 2009

The CoUnTy fAiR, The Birds & Bee's Were ThErE



This last Weekend, Was Pioneer Day's in Oregon City.  We decided to pack up the boys, and head on down to the
excitement!  I was feeling really good, I had not walked this long, and was hoping I would not " push" it.  
As we entered the park, Kaid's eye's Lit Up! It was SO wonderful to hear him just Talk, About Everything!
He was going a million miles a minute, pointing, and gibber jabbering. We made out, pretty much everything, the first, was this Car game.  Daddy, and Kaid were the only two that played.  Kaid would throw the ball, to make the car,
go, and would laugh.. to see that he was doing it!  It was such a good confidence builder for him.  We then
walked down to the Booths.  The title of the blog post, " The birds and the bees were there"  Kris, you'll know this.
When we were little my parents would sing this song, and we would all run around the living room, thinking it was the 
coolest song ever.. hears the jingle.
" We went to the Animal fair, The birds and the Bee's were there
the old baboon by the light of the moon, was combing his aburn hair.
The monkey, he got drunk, and sat on the elephant trunk, The monkey
Sneezed, and fell on his knee's,"   That's All I remember.

So.. Anyway.. I would sing this to kaid, when we would go to any Carnival, Park.. Etc..
As we walked down to the booths, Kaid Spotted the Animals, ( Only Pony's ) and made the
sing for elephants, and monkey's.  Then the song started!
Sorry.. if this is a little confusing.

Anyway's... We thought that Kaid was going to ride the pony's, But NO way!!
To our Disbelief, Karson!! Was the one that was SOO SOO excited!
He was leaning forward.. as to reach out to pet the pony. Keep in mind he's 6 months!!

The lady came over, and said, looking at karson " Are you ready to ride little guy?"  and
with a Huge Smile, we looked at each other and thought.. " OK "
As I went around, to place him on, He got all strapped in, and then started going,
I didn't realize that, I should not have started to walk with him, My Back was Starting to really hurt.. 
As I was twisting, in a way.. that Probably should not have.
Kent then took over, and I was with the camera, It was Just so amazing to 
watch our little guy light up on the pony!  He looked like he knew just what to do. It's so fun to 
watch him grow up SO SO fast.  Kaid on the other hand, would look at his brother on the
pony, however want NOTHING to do with it.  He was Just SO content playing with his
new Car Daddy just got him at the Fair.
What a Fun Day.. We are SO GLAD that kaid was wearing his Monkey!  Such A life Saver!! As for me...
This pretty much Did it in for me...  I was not trying to take Pain Medicine, But.. I was in a WORLD of
Hurt as we walked to the car!  Nothing Bad.. Just could tell... I was scared that Something Major.. After some
long rest.. Realized that it was just the pressure of being up walking..
Anyways.   This was The best Family Day we have had in A Very Long Time.  It was So sweet to see kent, and kaid
having bonding time together, kaid was just so happy.. We had not seen kaid eat this much either in a long time.
He had 2 c corn dogs' part of Kent's Elephant ear, 2 lemonade's, chips, and popcorn!  Wow~ 


       Began to put him on the Cute pony..
No hands even!! I tried to take a pic of him smiling.. he was laughing!
notice the binky clip.. 


Didnt really want to get off the horse..
Proud Daddy.. 
Kaid was just content with playing by the tree's and with his Car.






Love the Toes.. Karson was So tired.. 

As I adjusted his blanket, I accidentally woke him up.. He smiles when you wake him up.. I tried to get it though..

Thursday, May 7, 2009

6 And 6

Read to me Mom! Actually.. Kaid will read this to Me. 

The words are " Kaid" words, We can understand him,others.. not so much..
still so awesome!!




Lately, I have been feeling blue with blogin.  I love love to look at everyone Else's.. however I cant see to take the " right " picture.  It's a complex thing.. thanks Kris.. lol. just kidding, when you have a sister that is AMAZING with the camera, I feel like I want to take great pic, but by the time the flash goes, the boys have moved, and no longer willing to keep that   " Perfect" pose.
So. here are some things that have been going on.  6 Mo 
old NOW!! and 6 years old !!  Karson is Growing so fast. Hes 18lbs now.  I have been slowing integrating solid foods too him, and I can not seem to get the spoon in his mouth fast enough.  Its sad for me, I am still nursing him, but I just did not want him to not want to nurse anymore.  I never was able to nurse really with kaid, so this experience is so bonding, and wonderful.




Kaid really loves to pose... Teeth And All




Oh Karson, How you are too cute! He is such a Joy, and into everything!
Loves, pretty much everything..Fruit wise. I really wanted to take the cutest picture to show his
6mo old frame.. but after my surgery.. This is amazing that I did this..












Saturday, May 2, 2009

What an Experience! I am BaAACK!! ( Sort Of..)

Well.. As my last post stated, I had some major pain in my back.. Little did i know just how bad it really was. Shortly after that, I went to have an MRI, just to really see what was going on.  I was not able to walk upright, I was in a bad state, not to mention, having 2 kids, not good, to be out.  I remember walking in to the MRI room, and having the two techs help me up on the table.  As I layed down, Or just attempted, I could not help but cry.. I was in SOO much pain, pain that I had never ever experienced before.  The  next day we got the dreaded call from the dr. Kent actually took the call, in which the  outcome was " Surgery "  WHAT!! i though... how in the crap could this be?   I can not even tell you how it happened? or anything major that could have done this.. This was April 22nd.  This whole time I was just trying to do everything I could to relax, and not do to much.  The thing was, the most simplest of things were way to hard.  I remember laying down on my bed, and I felt a sneeze coming on.. I was terrified... I tried and tried to make it not fully come out, but it did... and I was then set in another circle of hurt.  I did this for 4 days, trying the best to just cope.  By the 4th day, The pain was So extreme I rushed to the ER.  Having to go to the Er, was something I was dreading, the Long wait, the many sick people..coughing, you name it.  AS we walked in, to check in, you are asked how's your pain, please rate it from 1-10, I said. " Really? Well.. it's way off the chart, maybe 20".  I was really serious. Needless to say, I was in a room within 20-25min.  After the initinal asking question's from the nurse, she quickly started the IV, with my MUCH needed relief of Pain Medicine.  It all happened so fast, She went straight to the Neurosurgeon, and had him come in to talk with me, he asked me some questions, and then I handed him my MRI.  He came back with in the hour, and said they were going to Admit me. Ahhh... What..? I just wanted this pain to go away but I was a little nervous to stay the night.  Well, this is what turned in to one night, another, and another, 4 nights!  I went in on a Sat, my Surgery was on Tuesday, and I left on Wed.

The first day I was in the Critical care unit, I really was wondering if I was going to be out of this pain.  They gave me plenty of pain meds, but I still felt it, just knowing that drove me insane.
Sunday Am, I was moved to my Beautiful Room, ( Honestly Was! Brand new wing ) I was loving the quiet, and being out of pain. My surgery was scheduled for 3pm on Tuesday.  I just wanted this whole ordeal to be over.  From the first day I was admitted,  I was having trouble with keeping an IV in.  I went through 5 different IVs, and Many Many different Pokes. I was joking with the Iv Specialist, that would come, daily, and said.. " Iam just your pin cushion today" I was trying to make light of the situation, it was just so odd.  Each time they would place an IV, It would be good for maybe a day, day 1/2, then blow, and bubble, ( OUCH!!)  5 different times!  Well.. I could write on and on, about this whole expereicne.  I am just So blessed to have such good friends, that came to see me, brought me food, took care of our kids, cleaned our house, did laundry.  Words can not tell you enough THANK YOU!
When I walked in to the hospital, I was walking Half up, I could not even walk..
Now.. Fully walking UP! I am SO SO happy!
The surgery was Successful, I have a  1. and a half in incision, where they went in to repair.  When the doctor came
in the next day and told me what happened, and how it went, he told me that I have degenerative Bone disease,  how my bones are not of a 31 year old.  I asked how this happened, he says, it's like grey hair, some people have it,
some don't.  Pretty vague.. So, all the caring kids around, and box's, not going to happen.  I still have my L4& L5 that can bulge, it's always going to be there.  Our bodies are so interesting, it's odd that one, little Nerve, can totally tweak your WHOLE life! 
I am grateful to be home, and healing wonderfully!  I have So many blogs to read, and pictures to look at, and more pictures to upload of us. Just wanted to update.. and tell everyone thank you all for your prayers, and calls, We truly felt everyone's  love!