Today, Has been An extremely difficult day for me, ( putting it mildly). This am, Kaid's had a Re-check up at his Paediatrics's office. Kaid has been having a very difficult time with his Aggression, and Temper. We have tried so many different thing's, all of which work for a little, then either he become immune to them, and stop working, or he becomes more aggressive. We have So far tried, 5 Different Types of ADHD medication's, now This will be the 6Th. Making it even harder for me today, was coming to realize that Kaid needed more Medication, to help control his Outbursts. I hit the Wall hard today, The part that I just lost it was, when we were leaving the clinic, I was handed a Stack of Percriptions, with a list of Blood work that he needed at the Hospital. I really Do not want to Sound like I am complainer, more like, when is the CALM going to come to my Storm? It's just really hard for me to swallow, that little reality pill that in order for My little Guy to function just like everyone else he needs a little more "help" doing so. Tonight, as I picked up the bag full of percriptions, I again began to cry. " How is this going to work?" I thought to myself. How in the World can I remember all what to do? I quickly brushed that negative talk aside knowing that was not going to get me anywhere. To give you an Idea,.. When Kaid wake's up, he's Given a Patch on his Hip ( Hopefully he will not Rip it off ) If this does not work,plan(2) then Pill crushed up, several times day. Then he has 2 types of Behavior Medication, with Long list of Directions, 1/2 pill this time, 1.5 pill latter, but not after this time. Then I have to Make sure the Patch is taken off by 9 hours he has his Vitamins that we give him in a syringe, I am extremely Happy that Kaid is beginning to gain some weight, and showing us that he loves food again. I know this is all going to take some time and getting use to. Kaid is the type of kiddo that needs to be told " Way " in advance before something Major is to happen, for instance his Medication. In the Beginning, I would say OK kaid is time for your medicine, and he would Run the other way.. hopeing that I would forget all about it. Now 2 years later, I know he knows that this is helping him, and not harming him, he will sit ( not always ) while we give him his medicine.
This is just something that I needed to write tonght, I needed to be able to Vent if you will... I am not knowing when kaid will just be able to be Calm, having him not Have to be always doing something. I am hopeful, and Prayerful that given these new tools, he will succeed. .having a child with major challenges, can tear your whole world apart. I know that this will pass, this hard trial with kaid, is clearly that, we will look back upon this at a later date and feel so grateful that we pulled though it. I am going to be posting " Kaid " blogs' about his status. I believe this is going to help me deal with all the sadness I have and issue that I just need to vent. So.. If you are reading this, and ever need help with ANY thing related to ADHD, or Hyperactivity, ask away. A little Testimony that I know MY Heavenly Father is Listening to me, and loves me a cool thing happened: Yesterday when I was at the Gym, I got a call on my phone, (I normally Do not take my phone in, however something told me I needed to take it with me while I worked out). when I answered the phone, it was The Chief Medical Dr. at OHSU, Dorenbecher where Kaid has been seen for several years. Just in there 3 weeks prior for our check up, and going over some major issues we had with kaid. As the Dr, went over things with us, He gave us a list of things to do, and Things to help with kaid, " Homework" if you will. So when he called, he said he had a Feeling that he needed to call me to check in on me, seeing how I was doing with kaid that day. I honestly about fell off the Treadmill! I was Having a day that I can not even begin to describe,( leave it at Toileting) I started to CRY. WHY am I crying I thought? Because He Heard me, I answered to myself. I was So blessed that HF listened to my countless prayers that morning, and sent a message to me this was Exactly what I needed. I needed to have someone tell me, " Medically" That Kaid was going to be OK, that This was something that was NOT uncommon, That KAID was a GOOD boy, that I was SICK to death of hearing family and people alike saying the words, BAD boy kaid. Kaid is a Wonderful Loving little boy that just needs a little more help, he said. I could not have said it better. More to come... New Medication starting tomorrow.
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