He will not give us more than we can handle?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me." ~Erma Bombeck

I am really not sure why I have to be pushed for so long, at such maxed out levels. I do have faith that I am needing to learn, grow from these experiences. I am really at the end of the rope with feeling like a complete failure with our sweet, yet extremely challenging kaid. With that out in the universe now, our life is also dedicated to a wonderful, lovable 3 year old as well that wants just as much of our attention then his older brother.

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can. ~Danny Kaye

I have been wanting to write a post for a long time, however I have been without words as to how this will come across. This is me, this is how I feel and I need to just explode!!

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity- Martin Luther King

I would love LOVE to wake up with peace and calmness, just once..

I would love to not be kicked,punched,and slapped..by my 8year old everyday.

I would love to understand what my child wants/needs

I would love to not see my 3 year old scream in fear of his brother

I would love to not have to hide in my room with karson, in fear of getting hit from kaid.

I would love for people to not stare at me when I have to go to the store, and kaid is uncontrollable.

I would love for others to remember some kids do not fit in the "cookie cutter mold"

I would love for kaid to wake up and be happy 24/7

I would love for people to educate themselves with what disabilities are. they have ABILITIES!

I would love for people to not be so ignorant.

I would love for kaid to feel calm

I would love peace

I would love for all his challenges to go away

I wish he would have friends to play with

I wish people would want to play with him

I wish other would know just a sliver of what I deal with DAILY

I hope I might always listen to the promptings to guide my children

I hope this passes soon.

I am barley here, T- for Timeout !

Finial are next week.. the End of summer term is almost over. I will NOT ever EVER.. EVER take summer term again. Hardest 8weeks, my little dudes have been really patient with me, for that I would LOVE to take them to Greece. Last week when we were cleaning, our photo albums came out, and I was able to show them all Greece when I lived there for a short time, How awesome it would be to be back.

This poor little blog.. Man I have lost interest.. My once, love for writing in here, has turned into a pretty pitiful blog,( admitting it's the first step right..lol. ) So, now that that's out of the way.. I am going to Work on it. I still have no clue how other's have time to blog, tell me how, and I will..Teach me the ways oh masters of blog land.. ( little sarcasm.)

Some things that I Would just Love.. and some things are just meant to come again later. I have heard this stage in our life, the --" Phase" will pass. Contrary to this we have been scratching out heads.. wondering when, when will the......... throwing food, peeing on the floor, locking the bathroom door while dumping out sweet little ol' " Mr. Bubbles " out & water all over the floor, squeezing bugs, scraped knees, soggy goldfish crackers will pass.. When?? I am Truly putting in my time here.. but People this momma is Really tired. It's from Sun up. 6am, until 1030pm. screaming constantly..This is my vent. I Do not wish this on anyone, I love being a mom, however that's hardly what I feel like. Kent and I, have had to really lean on one another. What does not Break us will make us stronger right... Bring it!

1. A Camera..Our camera has taken a turn for the worse, and it is not going to survive..complexity in having a camera I cant figure out anyways..

2. ORDER!! wouldn't that be Awesome! I would just LOVE Love.. Oh man LoVe to sleep in my cozy bed without KIDS, or our office space put together, papers all tucked away in their little cubbies, pencils all sharpened, soft music playing, Yeah that will be only in my dreams I know.. but these pictures will have to do for now.

1. Clean living room=dreamy

2. Sleep in my own bed, W/zero kids!
3.Living room w/out crayon marks on furniture=heaven
4. Organization Main "hub"= Ye ah!
5. Tucked away Tv & Toys= no tripping and stubbing toes..

6. Do I need to say anything?? I think not.. Priceless
A clean office..

This is Dreamy... I would Love... Someday.. Someday..

Get it out Girl!

Tonight I have Hit a wall. At times I wish this was literal..( kidding..) Really, I am just extremely frustrated. I feel as a mom I do so much to just make the boys happy, then the hubs, do the school work, finish CNA, hurry up to finish school.. and then there's the lack of time to just breathe. I feel even bad just writing this out. I am too tired to lift a pen, and writing on my laptop seems WAY easier. Tonight, my Camera died..well.. I am not sure what happened to it..It just does not seem to work like It use to.( It's fuzzy..haaa) THIS is where I am FRUSTRATED!! I have Zero clue how to use this Gadget my Lovely hubby bought me several years back. For Professional photog's (not an amateur like me) nonetheless.. I was grateful and started snapping pictures right away. And now it's broken, It's just "Stuff". Though this would be such an easy fix before, either fix it, or replace it. Though this transition in our family ( School, unemployment..) is a difficult one for me. I am loving all I have learned, yet.. still feel clueless on life, Really? I m seeing the bigger hand, though, the day to day mindless junk that gets infiltrated just gets to much to deal with. Just when the storm calms down for a bit, there is one soon approaching. I feel just beat down, I wish sometimes people would just know what was going on with each other, read there minds ( that could be bad though) I have always been a person that wears my heart on my sleeve, though lately, I have been quite calloused. I see this about me, and It makes me sad. At times I just get sad to how much fun I " use to" have, just with my friends, and having time for them. I cant believe that I am actually writing this. It's just really killing me.. Has anyone just wanted to say something to someone but if you did the person would most likely get so offended resulting to never speak to you again?? I just wish there was not such a huge brick wall up for so many people that are in my life. I just wish that when you say something to other's they would really know that you meant it, and were honest about it. Almost Ten years together and it's like sometimes the things he Say's comes out of the woodwork.. to be SO random.. yet leaves me mad that he got our " Conversation" wrong.. lol

Growing up my parents taught me the golden rule, and I have lived by this, OR have TRULY tried.. " Do unto others as you would have done unto you." I do this..... but what happens when you get the life sucked right out of you.. and you have zero, Nada, a FAT Nothing left to give??? Oh.. I know.. YOU KEEP GIVING!!! Do it until... That's Right.. ( Sarcasm tonight..)

Well.. on a side note.. the Boys are Awesome! and Kent is Getting straight A's!

****** Warning LOTS of Pictures ************* I just decided to do a major pic post as well.

Uncle Kory loves the boys

Surgery day May 2011
Key fell asleep at Breakfast
Pretty much sums Karr up... Ball's Balls Balls!
Oh, and Mixing.. he's my little Scientist..
The BEST Sensory New Toy! Better then Play Doh.

Seriously..They got in my Snowboarding gear
Watching me do Yoga in the Am.
Wiggly.. Wiggly..Boy that I love!


Our Destination Vacation.. Great Wolf.. Kid Camp Room

I miss this little guy..He's growing too fast..

Our Good Friends the Hatch's/Family
Mid-singing..
Amy & Lance Hatch
Key
Dozer Days 5/2011



Family Hike, at Lacamas Lake
All on his own. Posed for the camera.

Really Neglected..

Once upon a time I had all the time in the world, I so wish for this time again. I have been looking at so many blogs lately, and feel a sense of major NEGLECT! There is So much that has happened from March.. it's So hard for me to scoop up all the events that have transpired and lump them in to one post.. I WILL TRY though! So. with in the next Week ... Hopefully If I can still walk after my Soccer game tomorrow..

Feels Good to be me..

Really have so much to post about.. I am soaking this all in right now.. Kent has been on a long journey.. We all have, all I can say is Thank you Kid Rock for coming on the Radio the other day, so I could here this song.. It feels Good to be me, Granted I still do not have EVERYTHING figured out.. but most.. This is an Awesome place to be and I love it!

Be Mine Valentine

Seriously so proud of myself actually posting, right after I imported my photos. Today was So fun.. I LOVE LOVE all holidays, anytime to decorate the house and bake.. However Valentines day is especially Sweet- this year. In the Shannon Fam, we love traditions.. Though with things a wee bit different lately, I decided to change it up.. This year was our first, but not the last...

RAINBOW Pancakes. There is something about coloring your food bright and vibrant colors to my my boys ultra happy! What ever I can do for that I will!!I Have been really good lately by watching what I eat, ie.. no pancakes, sugary foods.. though today Rainbow Day I totally blew that. I am really Tired, So.. it's not going to be really detailed.. I will describe on pictures.. Hope everyone had a Wonderful Lovely day! I m actually sad to see the pink sparkles...slowly fade away from the decorations I have here.. Next Year will be even Brighter!

I love my Awesome Boys who Truly were My valentines this year! They were great sports, not minding me getting all cheesy with their valentines gifts..

----- Be Advised.. Many Pictures lol.. ------

Canyon Beach 2wks ago, love running on the beach.
Totally went to town.. well.. threw most off and ate what he wanted.
Of course..#1 for Kaid. He is Easy to please with food coloring..


I would have done things differently.. when making these.. but not bad for 1st time.
ok, don't judge, this is Why I cant eat pancakes.. I only eat them with

peanut-butter and tons of syrup. I am ok now until next year.

K.. these are a little out of order.. Kar was in the sink, as he was throwing up

from his cough.. only to realize he was eating these sweet morsels.
Strawberry marshmellows.. I had to Stack up for sure.. guilty pleasure around here..

The sickie in the sink..
Oh my.. I could not live with out.
The beginning of a great tradition! Rainbow night.

Kaid made all by himself..( with help of course..) for his class party.
Happy?

Little did I know that most of the frosting was being devoured by this sweet culprit.